Fantastic Hong Kong Beasts and Where to Find Them

Hello from Hong Kong!

It's a beautiful Friday here in our favourite Special Administrative Region and I've decided to write a quick post about animal encounters. I don't know about you, but one of the first things I ask people when they say they've been to a new place is, "what is the wildlife like?"

Last year, in South Africa, I was treated to some of the most spectacular wildlife in the world. Lions, rhinos, elephants, Helen Zille, the list goes on and on! Before that, I'd lived in Australia, which also has a fantastic array of wild creatures, and visited Alaska, where I was treated to whales, grizzlies, mountain goats, moose, and various other majestic beasts.

So, when the decision was made to move to Hong Kong, it was with the sad realization that the animals in the area may not match up to other regions I'd experienced previously in life. I was okay with the decision. Though I'm a huge fan of our animal brethren, I was willing to spend a year or two focusing on great architecture and noodly food - might as well expand other horizons.

To my surprise, we have found a wide array of wild beasts in Hong Kong. Some expected, some surprising - but nothing ordinary. Here are a few highlights:

The Dangerous Jungle Lemur

This beast is fairly common. We first came across it when Simon and I were running up Victoria Peak. After we'd reached the top, we were winding back down at a gentler pace when we heard a rustling in the trees. We looked up and - LEMUR ATTACK! And by attack I mean that we saw one. However, they are far more prevalent in Hong Kong than I would have expected. Perhaps they're refugee lemurs from Madagascar.

The Herculean Demon Spider

This beastie was also encountered upon Victoria Peak, which seems to have a slew of wild creatures. Simon had taken a second to stretch before coming up the peak, so when I was coming back down I ran into him - standing frozen as an ice cube in the middle of the path. I asked him what was wrong and he yelled, voice tight with tension, "Stop right there!"

"What's up?" I queried.

"There is a huge spider somewhere on this path."

Now, dear Simon demonstrates above average bravery when it comes to most things. However, when it comes to small creatures such as spiders, rats, and cockroaches, he gets a little less comfortable. So I assumed that I would find a teensy weensy little spider baby if I looked around long enough.

I decided to walk down anyways and then I saw it.

"Holy Shit!"

The spider was at least the size of my hand, and daddy longlegs it was not. It was thick and hairy and grey and evil. In fact, I'm 95% certain that it starred in that movie "Eight Legged Freaks." It was petrifying.

The Palm Tree Porcupine

Yet another tale from Victoria Peak. Perhaps it is the Galapagos of Hong Kong? Regardless, this was a brief encounter. I'd had a scary experience on the Peak a few days before (which I may blog about someday once I've shaken the post traumatic stress disorder), so I was a bit jumpy. I'd just reached the top when I noticed a shaking off to my left. I stopped - it was a jiggling palm-ish plant. Like a palm tree fern. However, instead of being green, it was a bony kind of colour. I inched closer, wondering what this strange plant could be? Then the plant upped the shaking, going from a mild shaking to full-on epileptic seizing. Then I saw its snout. The plant had a dark, black, bunny snout. Usually plants don't have this feature.

I leapt back like a frog in a stew-pot and braced myself against the stone edge of the Peak. I realized I was looking at a porcupine. I had once seen one in Alaska, but rather than this bony/giant/palm tree thing it had been sad and dark grey.

I decided that getting pined (or porked? ew) by a porcupine was not on my nightly "to-do" list, so I retraced my steps and headed back down the mountain to safety.

The Endangered House Cat

I know what you might be thinking, and I don't think it is true. Seriously, I have seen no evidence of anyone in Asia eating house pets. In fact, there are plenty of dogs (big and small) in the city and none seem to be afraid of being lunch. However, cats seem to be few and far between. Maybe that is because I'm rarely in peoples' houses and often in the street so that could be why I don't see them. But whenever I do come across a kitty, it is either haggard looking (missing tail, etc) or being chased by an old lady. I don't know much about the HK kitty, I just thought I'd provide some food for thought. Whoops!

The Godzilla Bull

Simon and I took a day trip to Lantau, which is Hong Kong's biggest island. While it takes up much more space than the main island, the population is far smaller. We decided to hike from the town where the ferry dropped us to another town across the island (where there was a South African restaurant on the beach that we were eager to try).

Right from the beginning of our sojourn, we noticed a large amount of poo on the pathway (which was right beside the islands main road). It was large livestock poo, and at first we speculated that it may be wild pig poo, as we heard that they inhabited the island. Not to be vulgar, but any Pennsylvanian worth his or her salt knows what pig poo smells like (HORRIBLE) so I figured it was not of piggy origin.

We continued along the path, eventually forgetting about whatever creature it was that was dropping periodic bombs. Then, we rounded a corner, and OH MY GOD. We were faced by the biggest bull I have ever seen. It was like the red bull from The Last Unicorn (see picture at the beginning of the post).

I let out an unholy screech and rocketed across the road like jack in the box. Simon was laughing because he is evil (but gorgeous so I keep him around), and because he is from South Africa where the have the parent species of The Godzilla Bull, known as The Godzilla Jaws Beast Water Buffalo.

We hid behind a steel gate for a bit until the bull had passed us. I looked at Simon incredulously. "How could that monster just roam freely? Don't they make fences in Hong Kong? Won't it eat innocent babies?"

Simon guessed that we probably would have heard about it if innocent people were being killed by bulls on Lantau.

I smell a conspiracy.

For the full story on this, see my better half's blog: http://williamsons-world.blogspot.com/2010/10/island-which-is-called-lantau.html

The Lantau Sea Cow

The Godzilla Bull's lovelier female relative, the sea cow, can also be found on the beautiful island of Lantau. We had just survived our encounter with the bull of death when we found a path leading down to a small beach side town. Everything looked as normal beach towns do, except for a heard of cows walking around on it.

The Lantau Sea Cow is a beautiful and graceful animal and worthy of our affection. I posed for pictures with mothers and babies while Simon recalled bygone days of growing up amongst the cows in the small farm town of Durban in South Africa (I may be exaggerating on that front).

The Taxi Terror

The most dangerous breed of Hong Kong animal, without a doubt, is the taxi terror. The taxi terror will sneak up on you around corners, can run at speeds up to 140 km/h, are often missing integral body parts that impair their ability to function, and are hell bent on disturbing as many people as possible.

The only thing that saves people from the taxi terror is that they will ignore you as soon as you show interest in them. In fact, if you act like you would like to interact with the taxi terror, perhaps even ride in one, it is incredibly likely to avoid you if at all possible. Whew.

The Hong Kong Dog-Maid Symbiot

The Hong Kong Dog-Maid Symbiot is simultaneously the most varied and prevalent animal in Hong Kong. Common varieties have a lapdog base, usually of poodle or corgi origin. Other common bases are the Labrador and bulldog varieties. What all of these have in common is that they are all attached, usually by a leash (sometimes by hand or though vocal command), to a Filipino woman.

The symbiot is most often seen between the hours of 7 and 12 in the evening, likely when the Filipino ladies are finished helping with dinner and have time to walk the dog. Very, very rarely you will see a dog attached to a Chinese or Caucasian man or woman, but that is almost unicorn-rare.

The symbiot is also the friendliest of Hong Kong animal species on both its dog and woman sides, though occasionally you will meet a muzzled one. It is difficult to communicate with the woman half of the creature, as it usually attached to a cellular device.

*I don't want to be offensive about Filipino maids, so please do comment and let me know if I've said anything that can be taken the wrong way. As I've said, I've only met friendly women walking dogs in Hong Kong. I am alarmed by the shocking amount of Filipino women who have to leave home in order to earn enough money to support their families back in the Philippines, but I don't yet know enough about the subject to speculate.

I hope you find this guide moderately useful in the case that you visit Hong Kong. If any of our friends come to visit, Simon and I will be happy to take you for a safari tour of Hong Kong and its majestic beasts.

:) Mike

The Infinite Possibilities of a Sensor-Assisted Future

Hi there! I wrote this for work last week, but I figured that I would share it on here as well. Let me know if you have any thoughts on the subject!

Until recently, I was never too gaga about motion-sensor technology. However, I can’t say that I’d had much experience with it. I used to have a little crystal ball that dolled out advice in similar fashion to a Magic 8 ball: “Signs point to yes,” or “Reply hazy, ask again later,” or perhaps, “Outlook not so good.” However, this crystal ball was especially exciting because it answered you after you waved your hand over it in majestic gypsy fashion. Being a squealing eight year old, ravenous for Ouija boards and Narnia and all things mystic and mysterious, I found this endlessly enthralling. I did not stop to think about how the crystal could detect me until, after months of tireless use, my older brother spoiled my fun by pointing out the little red sensor light that gleamed out of the base of the crystal.

That killed my love affair with the crystal ball, and I never really thought about sensor technology in the years that followed. In retrospect, sensors were obviously a part of my life. Burglar alarms, automatic soap dispensers, toilets without handles, and features on digital cameras are all based in motion-detection. But I never stopped to think about how these sensors worked or, more importantly, how they may be improved to affect other parts of my life.

Then came Wii. As a lifelong Nintendo devotee, I was appalled when I saw the beloved controller of generations past updated into a remote control for the new generation. How could true gaming skill be discerned by the use of two buttons? How was I going to be able to make Mario jump by wildly shaking my arm at the television?

I bit my tongue and swallowed my pride and took the Wii for a spin. I was instantly impressed by the precision of the controls. The first game I played, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, had me swinging a sword, shooting arrows, riding horses, and flying through trees. In contrast to my early fears, I actually felt a much stronger connection with my in-game character than I had in the bygone days of button mashing.

The public at large also responded positively, making the Wii the “must-have” item of several Christmases in a row. As one industry insider put it, “The Wii is destined to sell more units than The Bible.” Competitors also took note; both Microsoft and Sony have recently released motion-sensing peripherals, each with technology more advanced than that of the Wii. In the next year or two, we should see the next generation of gaming consoles unveiled and it is almost a certainty that each of the industry leaders will include motion-sensing technology in their system specs at launch. For an in-depth description of each platform’s technology, check out this article at PC World: http://bit.ly/9mmI3O

So, motion sensing has taken off in the gaming sector, but does that mean anything in terms of the world outside of the game-o-sphere? Yes it does. Let’s transition to a bigger picture.

The mobile phone industry has adopted motion sensor technology in a plethora of ways. One of the first significant executions of this was for, of all things, gaming. Several of the first iPhone games that came along were based on moving the phone itself to control the game, rather than to push buttons or make sounds. Then, as more first and third party contributors began to master the technology, the iPhone and other smartphones increasingly incorporated sensor technology. It can be as simple as shaking the phone to return to the home screen or as complicated as using eye-tracking to communicate through video calling. Augmented reality applications have allowed people to combine motion-sensing technology with other technologies and actually add a virtual layer to their lives as they navigate through the “real world.” Check out this application that IBM created for visitors to Wimbledon: http://gizmo.do/cXR4up. The only thing that is certain is that only the tip of the iceberg has been uncovered with regards to using this technology in the mobile realm.

Extending beyond this “peripheral” approach to motion detection, the question that comes to mind is how sensor technology could evolve to influence even more of our daily lives? Does it have a place outside of the gadgets that we so depend on? In this column for Mashable, HP Quantum Structures Research Laboratories’ own Distinguished Technologist (there’s a title for you) Pete Hartwell gives his prediction for the future of sensor technology, motion and otherwise. He shares that, even now, sensors that are one thousand times as powerful as those found in our Wiis can be produced. The question that Hartwell raises, and speculates on, is how we can use this technology to advance society, particularly in the areas of safety, security, and sustainability.

Hartwell speaks of a world where homes will be equipped with heat sensors in order to know what room the inhabitants are in. He notes the environmental benefits of this system, as the house could automatically shut of lights and appliances when a room emptied. How far behind is the hotel room that begins playing romantic music as soon as two bodies enter the room and their heat level increases? Or perhaps sound sensors will detect angry voices and turn on the sprinklers to drown a potential brawl?

It is not too hard to envision a future where all buildings are equipped with sensor technology. Perhaps sensor technology will become so huge that it will be like electricity in buildings. Will we someday get to a point when all of our buildings are aware? Imagine a future where no one must check into or out of work because the building can detect a person’s specific gait as she or he enters the front door. No bank teller would have to push a button because a simple hand gesture could alert the building to a potential security threat. The possibilities are truly endless.

If buildings can become aware, surely objects can as well. One step into the gym will tell you that certain equipment is already sensor enabled; the treadmill can check your heart rate and adjust your workout accordingly. Are we far from having the actual objects being our personal trainers? Will we have mirrors for aerobics classes that tell us how to do a particular exercise and then monitor our execution? A sensored mirror is a truly scary proposition. Imagine the mirror informing you that you’ve gained weight. Or point out pimples. Yikes.

What other objects will become aware? What objects need to become aware and which would suffer if they did? I am interested to see what people think about this. Perhaps movie seats sense us jumping in terror during a horror movie and change to cater to specific audience fears. Imagine sports clothing with built in sensors, becoming more porous as the athlete’s temperature increased.

We have already seen the functionality of sensor technology in the automobile sector. In terms of safety, in-car breathalyzers have long been in place for convicted drunk drivers. On a lighter note, many cars now respond to voice commands. Are we that far from heat-sensing anti-road rage car measures? The industry has shown creative use of sensors outside their vehicles as well. Check out Honda’s recent use of “smile tracking” at an event in Australia: http://bit.ly/bcw40D.

I could continue to rampantly speculate, but I suggest that we all ponder how the future of motion sensors, or sensor technology in general, could affect our lives. What interests me about this is whether sensor technology is going to be the catalyst that connects our “digital” and our “real” lives. Certainly ecommerce, Internet banking, social media, streaming content, and many others have bridged the gap significantly. But I still feel, at least personally, that my digital life (whether it be gaming, working, banking, shopping, researching, or whatever) and my non-digital life (reading, traveling, being outdoors, socializing, etc) are still separate in many ways.

Can motion-sensing technology bring it all together? Who knows? What we can be certain of is that sensor technology will only become more and more prevalent. The technology to expand it well beyond its entertainment-based foundations already exists. Questions arise as to where it will be most embraced, where it can help the most, and where it will be perceived as a threat? So many questions and so few answers. I’ll have to ask my crystal ball.

Starting Out Happy

It's been a long time.

I stopped blogging in February in order to focus on another venture: writing my first book. I am pleased to share that I was successful in this endeavor. At least in the sense that I wrote the book. We'll leave it to editors and publishers to see if it ever hits a shelf. But in addition to wanting to write a book about South Africa, The Jupiter Drawing Room, Graham Warsop, and about myself, I just wanted to write a book. Anything. I would have done a fan fiction sequel to The Dragons of Blue Land as long as it meant I finished something. 100,000 words later, that task is done.

So here I am, blogging again. I really want to share some stories about my new homeland: Hong Kong. Simon and I moved here four weeks ago today and are already having the time of our lives.

I will write further entries about Hong Kong itself. Adventures have already included fish balls, being chased by bulls, losing our way on mountains, lots of culture shock, tons of noodles, and plenty of “universal” hand gestures. But today's entry is about a subject that is near and dear to all of our hearts: being happy.

Some of you, especially first time readers of Mike, might be running for the hills or struggling to chug down this treacly subject matter. All I only have one thing to say to that:

Screw you, bucko.

We all spend so much of our time trying to be happy. And then, on the occasion when someone does manage to taste even just a piece of the happy pie, there is a very specific (and I think rare) type of person that decides to pick and criticize and snark until they've sucked all of the happy out of the proceedings.

If one of those people doesn't want to read what I have to say, that is fine. I don't want you reading it. In fact, I will write further entries titled - Searching for Care Bears, What Disney Princesses Can Teach Us About Life, Inspiring Sports Stories Especially Those Featuring Serena Williams, and I Am So in Love and I Want to Sing it From a Rainbow Perched on a Love Cloud Above a Waterfall on Valentine's Day in Magical Love Love Love Land - just to keep your kind away.

Now, tangent over. I don't want to write a story about why I'm happy and how you can be exactly like me and how that will make you happy too. Rather, I want to write on a subject that I've often wondered about: starting off happy.

For those of us who live our lives as if we are the main character in an epic adventure/romance/swashbuckling/etc film, the idea of beginning a story with the main character happy at the beginning is a fairly rare occurrence. Even Belle from Beauty and the Beast started her tale as a very single woman wanting "so much more than her provincial life!" Do all of the best stories start with sadness?

Last year, I began my journey through South Africa with a big chip on my shoulder. I had had a rough job with my job the year before, I'd fallen out of love with the city I'd travelled from (London), I was incredibly homesick, and I was as single and lonely as a nun on Halloween.

Coming into my new story, I've arrived in Hong Kong having had the best professional year of my life, having come from the most beautiful country I'd ever travelled through, having just spent over a month with my parents around, and head-over-heels-marry-me-now-oh-baby-oh-baby in love. What am I supposed to struggle against in order to get my grand and inspiring conclusion?

I've thought a lot about this and one answer keeps coming into my head as soon as I begin to ponder.

You're not done yet.

Fairy tales tell us that once you've fallen in love and proven the bad guys wrong then you’re done. While I love fairy tales, real life tells me that, though happy, having support and having overcome challenges gives me the opportunity to pursue even loftier dreams. Things I never thought I’d get to do. (Hello, Oscar!)

Hong Kong is the perfect place to realize that one's path does not need to follow a typical story line. So much of the world that is unknown to me is a relative hop, skip, or jump from here. Simon has not seen much of Asia either, so we get to explore these new things together. Hopefully some of my best friends, who I miss so much every day, will come over to visit and explore it, too.

So, prepare for a year of messages about Hong Kong adventures. And prepare for them to be happy. And if they're not, I'll be the first to put my foot in my mouth. But I think we all owe it to ourselves to celebrate when we are happy ourselves and when those close to us are happy. A dear friend, Kim, said to me right before Simon and I left South Africa, "We're allowed to be happy. Which takes some getting used to." (Read her inspiring stuff at http://blogs.women24.com/kimstories and http://blogs.women24.com/LessOfMe). And she's right - we are allowed.

I am so excited to be here in Hong Kong and to have the opportunity to share some things about it. I am also just excited about everything right now. I'm excited about Hong Kong, about Asian adventures, of course about Simon, about going to Meadville for Christmas and seeing my family and friends, and about so much more.

I think happy and excited is the perfect way to begin this new adventure.

Mike

PS: Simon has already started documenting some of the adventures we'd had in Hong Kong (among other things), so make sure to check them out at http://williamsons-world.blogspot.com.

Cape Fear?

Hello everyone!

I have been in Cape Town for two weeks now and today is the first rainy day - I can handle that ratio! It's good to see some good old fashioned rain.

Anyways, I'm not writing a weather report. I was going to write about my epic trip down here with the lovely Martina Sudowe, but I'll do that later in the week. My past three days in Cape Town have been stressful yet enlightening and I feel the need to share.

I'm not going to go in chronological order. Instead, I'll unveil my messy few days in Kill Bill fashion - starting at the end, returning to the beginning, and stopping somewhere in the middle. The most recent and significant event of my last few days was being mugged last night. That sounds dramatic, and I really shouldn't have made it my facebook status as suddenly everyone thought I had been thoroughly attacked. But there isn't really anything else to call it. I will say, however, that (a) it needed to happen and (b) it really didn't come close to ruining my day.

I'm a big fan of the "God works in mysterious ways" rule. Most of the worst things that have ever happen to me have needed to happen for me to become the semi-functioning, almost-stable adult that I am today. This was yet another case of that. I was in a hurry to go and have a quick drink with my good friend Erin, who lives right up the street here in the city bowl of Cape Town. We both live above hotels and it's literally a 90 second walk from one to the other. It's kind of like "LOTR: The Two Tours" meets "Barbie."

Anyways, I speedily threw on some clothes and shoved some money in my pocket (I've abandoned a wallet because its kind of an obvious target and it also doesn't fit into any of my tight pants). As I rounded the corner to Erin's building, I paid no attention to the fact the street was completely abandoned. Dumb move one. I get to her buildings glass doors and peer through - locked, and no one sitting at the security gate. I assume Erin is running a second behind, so I pull out my shiny silver phone and start texting away. Dumb move two.

I look over as an extremely thin street dweller rounds the corner. He looks through a garbage can and then comes my way. At first he just stands there looking at me expectantly. He was wearing a yellow vest, so I thought maybe he was a parking attendant. "Yes?" I asked, seeing if there was something specific he wanted.

"Change?" he asked, his voice weak. He didn't look drunk or drugged, just hungry. I think maybe I've gotten so jaded by living in a country with such poverty that I refuse to ever think of handing out anything but coins. I searched my pockets. No coins. "Sorry, I don't have anything" I said. He just stood there. I tried the age-old elevator trick of pretending I had something vital to do on my phone, hoping he'd go away. Dumb move three.

I looked up, as he was obviously still staring at me, and saw that his eyes fixed firmly on my phone. Whoopsie daisy. I turn to the glass doors of Erin's building and try to push them open. No luck. I look at the call box and cannot even fathom how to reach her to "buzz me in". When I turn around again, the little guy was gone. I thought he must have found someone else to pester.

I couldn't help but think of "Beauty and the Beast" - when the prince at the beginning turns the beggar woman away, she curses him. Yikes. I should have given him some money. But they always tell you ("they" being locals) especially in your own neighborhood, or you'll never get any peace. Which is probably a good point, regardless of the outcome of my tale.

Then I spot little guy return from around the corner, this time with a taller, stronger (but still starving and about half my size) guy in tow. Ruh roh. I looked around for some sort of something to defend myself with. Then I spotted my pocket, which had a R50 note (only about 7 bucks US) sticking out of it for the world to see. Mistake four.

So, there I was, basically fishing for homeless people, with my shiny phone in one pocket and my money hanging out like bait of the other one. The boys both looked starving, and the must have been like 15 years old. The new, bigger one asked if I would like to buy something off of him. (Instead of panicking, I thought - this is just like Beauty and the Beast!)

"No," was all I could think of to say. I love how those lines of extreme wit just come flying out during stressful encounters. While I didn't want him to turn me into a beast or a teapot, I also didn't want to catch a disease from whatever her wanted to sell me. Luckily for me, it turns out that the "selling something" excuse was just a clever opening for him to put his hand into his pocket and pull out a knife.

I was scared, but not really for my life. I'm pretty sure the knife was to small to kill me. It just looked so dirty that I couldn't imagine getting stabbed with it. Ew ew ew. I whipped out some cliched line like "think about what you're doing, son" - which in retrospect seems a bit dumb. Everyone who's ever said that in a movie has gotten killed.

He politely asked for some cash, and I reached into my pocket, coming out with an R100 bill. I tossed it at him, and it was such a sad sight to see them squabble over it like hungry puppies. I was feeling so badly for them. The older boy ended up getting it and he turned back saying, "If you have one for me, you must have another for him" - good logic, I suppose. I reached in and pulled out another R100. Why the hell couldn't I pick out an R10 note? I tossed it at them, the little guy grabbed it but didn't seem to happy. I was hoping they'd at least smile.

I expected them to follow up by at least demanding my phone or something, but instead the trotted off, even yelling thank you when they rounded the corner. I was in a bit of shock. I didn't feel particularly violated or anything, I just felt guilty. How could I walk into a street of poor people and basically flaunt money, having it hang out of my pockets and flashing my shiny phone around? I would have mugged me too, and then punched me for being so insensitive. I always think that because I don't make a ton of money, people will understand. But when you survive on a dollar a day, even a 25 year old's salary seems like a ton.

So Erin came down, we laughed off the encounter, and had some wine. All in all a good night.


A few days before, though, I had witnessed a bank robbery. If we're going for cliched phrases, I would say the appropriate one for this event is "to assume makes and ass out of u and me" - always liked that one. I had been trying to find paper cups for a picnic and had just negotiated three from the McDonald's counter. It was sunday, so none of the stores were open. I was walking back towards my building when I heard gun shots to my left. Yikes! I turned and saw police sprinting down the street after some very criminal looking folks. I kept hearing more gunshots and saw civilians throwing themselves on the ground. There was a low roar of panic in the crowd as people screamed and they continued to run, holding guns in the air.

I was truly shocked. The only violence I'd seen in the four months I've been down here was the one time someone tried to "smash and grab" my car and threw a brick at me. And it was such a bad throw that it was hard to call it violence - it was more desperation. I have come to know South Africa as a safe and well-run place for the most part, especially on a Sunday afternoon! (I suppose at this point I should have though "who robs a bank on a Sunday?" but logic escaped me)

I was trying to decide whether it would be appropriate to go into Sigourney Weaver mode and tearing off my shirt and running to help the wounded or if I should run screaming when I hear someone yell "CUT!" over a loud speaker. Was it the voice of God?

No, it was a man with a faux-hawk in a director's chair. Hadn't spotted him. And I watched in awe as he, with one word, managed to stop a bank robbery. Everyone cheered and started chatting. People stood up and brushed themselves off. Guns were dropped and gathered up by stressed-looking assistants.

Who knew they filmed movies in Cape Town? I can imagine that they get quite a tax break, but sheesh. And could they have at least put signs up? I know that, living in SA, you hear a few more gunshots than you do in say, Topeka, but they still aren't that common. A warning sign or information booth would have been a nice gesture. And then I could have prepared a way to throw myself in front of the camera and become famous.

The next day, I was chatting with a person from England on the phone for a work-related issue. This person was describing the likelihood of a person wanting to move to South Africa as being "very low" - and acting like I was talking about moving someone to Sierra Leone. As this person voiced their misconceptions, I realized that I'd felt the same in a lot of ways before coming down. Expecting violence, expecting disease, expecting it to be technologically and socially backward. And I have had such a dramatically different experience from those poorly-informed views that what would end up happening the next day, the "mugging," happened because I acted in a way that would be dumb in any city in the world. I got mugged because I was being stupid, not because I was in South Africa. And I was shocked to see the "bank robbery" because I actually do feel safe here. When that man yelled "cut!" I felt gratified, knowing that my opinion of my adopted country wouldn't be sullied by random acts of violence.

Anyways, I suppose I've written enough for now. I have to go desperately search for a laundromat or I'll be going to work naked (which might cut down on the possibility of future muggings - though lord knows what else it might inspire).

Have a fantastic day!

Mike

Cheating on myself...

I'm well aware that I have not written in two months. This doesn't mean I've abandoned my blog. Instead, I was taking the celebrity approach to the holidays - like my contemporaries Beyonce and Jude, I decided that I was going to take a holiday from everything. I wanted to recharge my batteries and disappear for a while. I feel like I spend too much of my life in front of a computer screen and too much time away from my family, so I just wanted to nestle into home life and avoid technology (hours of video game playing didn't count, of course).

It was a great decision in a way. On the other hand, I realized that having two completely separate lives can be a bit too emotionally damaging. I don't know how polygamists do it - I'm relatively single and having a double life nearly killed me!

From Fall 2007 to Fall 2009, I lived in London. I never felt like I was living two different lives, even though most of my loved ones were back in the States while I skipped about Europe. I was always sad to leave after holidays at home but not devastated, because I knew we'd see each other soon. And I never felt like I was "home" in England - I knew I wouldn't stay for the long run. Even though I made some of my best friends ever there, friends I will keep and cherish for my whole life, I knew that E1W 2JD wasn't going to be my permanent post code.

When it came time to leave Meadville this year, however, all hell broke loose. I cried for an entire 24 hour period. I threw up. I couldn't even play scrabble because it gave me too much time to think.

On one hand, this was to be expected after having one of the best months of my entire life. There were so many big and little things that left me with lifelong memories. My mom and I took a road trip to Indiana to see some family and had to stay in a cheap motel without heating in a creepy little town straight out of Deliverance. I remember thinking as we laid in bed in our parkas and scarves and ate pizza and drank Bud that this had to be one of the best moments of my life. I saw Avatar with my equally emotional father and laughed at the end when I realized he'd bawled the whole way through the movie too. I had a few wonderful lunch dates with my dear Aunt Kathy, spent some quality time with my cousin Pammy, and caught up with some of my best friends. And I almost broke down when I went to visit my brother's school and heard that he was the top student in his class (this after some well-documented problems over the last couple of years).

On the other hand, there was nothing completely different than previous years. Everything was still wonderful, but not so extraordinary that it should have had such a different influence on me. When I returned to South Africa and landed in Johannesburg, the difference hit me: I actually have a life here! Eeek!

I have a job I love, a great apartment (even better now that I've moved to Cape Town - more on that next update), friends, even a car I like! And I have a surrogate family that feels like an extension of my family at home rather than a replacement.

The problem with liking my life here, and realizing I have one, is that I'm no longer certain I'll ever go back to my old one. And it's terrifying. I'm lucky to be close enough with my family that I know they'll just come and join me if I decide to stay somewhere else forever. But it almost feels like I'm betraying my other life by having such a nice one here. And it makes me sad that I realize I can't really live both of them at the same time.

I'm sure this is a problem that everyone has at some point, but I'm finding it kind of crippling. I've been distracted and grouchy since returning to work down here. I'm confused about what I should do next year - the plan was to go to China or South America, but now I wonder if I should stay here? Or move to NYC? Or maybe start all over and become a park ranger in a remote forest?

Anyways, I'm back on the writing trail now. (Who knows if anyone even reads this, but it is therapeutic). And, while I'm conflicted about my future, and my life as it stands, writing about it is so much fun. South Africa is such an amazing place and sharing it with even one person makes it worthwhile.

Stay tuned for tales of smart cars, flooding, wild zebra attacks, and more!

x
Mike